Staying With It

Loving your fate sounds bold when you first hear it. In real life it looks smaller. It looks like replying to the same email thread again. It looks like keeping your word on a day you feel thin. You do not always feel devotion. Sometimes you just feel responsible. And that counts too.

Pressure can make ordinary moments feel slightly distorted. You speak a little faster. You check your phone before you have finished chewing. You say you are fine because it is quicker. Later, you sit alone and feel the hum still running. It is hard to switch off something that never fully switches on.

Being proactive is often invisible. No one sees the draft you started early. Or the conversation you had before it became a problem. Or the way you steadied your tone. From the outside it looks calm. Inside it is just you trying to keep things kind.